Day 9: Wedding Day #3

Now that Bishakha was married, the only thing left was to send her away, in a ceremony my friend Neema calls "the kiss and cry." Basically, everyone gathers in front of the house, and the groom's family comes and takes the bride away as her family stays there and watches. It doesn't sound fun, and it wasn't - Sandeep and Bishakha were taking a horse-drawn carriage to Sandeep's Grandmother's house, and the receding monsoon rains had softened the roads enough that they were delayed about a half-hour. All that time, Bishakha sat in a chair in front of her mother, father, and brother, who all tried very hard not to start crying. Her father (subtly) broke down a couple of times, but finally the carriages arrived, and the wedding procession paraded through the streets - the band, then the carriages, then a few cars following behind (Bishakha had said Bonu and I would ride in the carriages with her, but the driver absolutely refused, saying it was against tradition, so we took a dry, non-smelly car instead).

Once we arrived at Sandeep's home, there were a few more ceremonies - blessings aside, the best was a game between Bishakha and her mother in law. Both kneeled on the floor, on either sides of a huge bowl filled with some sort of grain, and a few tokens (money, coins, a ring) - the bowl was upended in a tray, and the two women fight to be the first to find these items. The tradition emerged as a way to determine which woman would be dominant in the household (since brides traditionally move in with the groom's parents); although it doesn't work that way anymore, I still rooted for Bishakha!

Afterwards, we were finally allowed to escape - Bishakha, Sandeep, Bhothu, Bonu and I went to relax in the newlywed's room for a few minutes. The festivities had even extended this far - the bed was decorated with garlands, and a heart of flowers on the bed cover was filled with the inscription "B + S". Sandeep was embarrassed, but he'd threatened to decorate all the cars in like fashion, so I think this was a fair compromise!

We had yet another reception, eating yet another buffet lunch in yet another tent, sitting on yet more folding chairs. Creepy uncle was still creepy, too, but I sat with Bishakha's father to deflect most of the creepiness. After the lunch, Bonu and I went to our separate homes, leaving Bishakha to her new life.

I had planned on getting some school work done that afternoon, assuming I'd be left alone, but I think Bishakha's parents were afraid that I would get bored or lonely, because I didn't get a moment of peace! Samar, the young cousin, came home with me, and we talked and watched TV for hours. Finally, he left and I got a bit of work done, but then Bhothu came over for awhile - we watched a movie, had a drink, and then he had to get home. As soon as he left, Bishakha's brother came up to see that I was okay, and find out what I wanted for breakfast the next morning. By then, it was almost 10 and nearing my bedtime, especially with a threatened power outage, and very little work had been done.

Giving up, I went downstairs to say goodnight to Bishakha's parents. Her father cried - this was a nightly ritual for Bishakha, their baby, and wouldn't be anymore - but they were happy to have me around (a poor substitute, it's true, but a substitute all the same!). Reassuring them that I had all of the company, food, drinks, and everything else I could possibly want, I headed back upstairs to get a good night's sleep.